Ignorant idiots spouting racial insults

I’m coming out of Starbucks, after spending some time in there reading and enjoying a nice cup of joe before my run tonight. I start to head out to the bus stop and notice this ‘older’ guy, slightly balding. Sitting Indian style on the ground with a worn leather football in between his legs; he tries to beg for some money from another guy sitting on the bench. The guy on the bench pretty much tells him no. Well, it continues back and forth for a while. The guy on the bench is not letting it go, and the older guy, who now notice has most of his front teeth missing and is slurring his words together, is definitely not letting up. Something about alcohol inhibiting your better judgment, this continues back and forth to the point where voices are starting to rise and people are starting to look. Then the older guy utters like the ultimate racial epithet that a white guy can, ‘nigger’. You probably guessed it, the dude on the bench is black, and there are several of them around waiting on they’re various buses to come. This guy is so intoxicated that, he didn’t realize what he had just said, when the situation really started to get tense.

 

For reasons I can’t fully understand, I was so close to standing up and telling this guy off for saying what he did. It wasn’t just the word, but of course the context and his tone that really made this a potential powder keg.  This guy got me riled up about it as well, I was so close to just telling him what an ignorant and sad pathetic man, and it’s people like him along with Mr. Falwell, that unnecessarily poke and prod sensitive social areas. Instead of working on educating yourself, they are bitter and angry at people, and apparently over skin color. I wish I could make an excuse for this guy, about him being baited and drawn into this argument, but it was shameful to watch and witness.

 

I was really fuming about this all the way home. I cannot really understand why, but this guy really pissed me off. I hate, no, absolutely abhor intolerance. Especially when it’s based on something as superficial as skin color! And it’s people like him that keep perpetuating hate unnecessarily because they are bitter and want someone else to blame for they’re short comings. Since you really can’t blame an inanimate object for it, so… that’s enough for my soap box for the evening. Off to my run.

Misinterpreted workplace passion

Dear Christine,

“I am a 25-year-old dental hygienist. I have a great career with an excellent salary. I love what I do but I can't say that I'm 'passionate' about it. In fact, there is nothing that I do in life that I am passionate about. I don't have any activity or subject that excites me beyond a few weeks. Just because I have no passion, does that mean I have no purpose in life? How do I reach my inner passion?" -Purposeless, 25, Chicago

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Dear Purposeless,

You are having trouble finding your "inner passion" because you are focusing on the buzzword: passion. This word gets a lot of airtime as the most popular career advice is "find your passion and you will be happy and successful." News flash: most people, whether in their 20s 30s or later in life, don't jump out of bed and run to work everyday. Sometimes, a job is just a job. True, some people really do love what they do for a living, but if you don't feel passionate about it that doesn't mean you have no purpose.

You said that you love what you do and are paid well, why isn't that good enough? It sounds to me like you are simply looking for a little more joy in your life which you can create without changing jobs or having a Eureka! moment of self-discovery. Become passionate about exploring the things that make you joyful - perhaps spending time with friends, doing something artistic, cooking, being outside, and so on. You say you do not have a single activity that interests you more than a week, but consider your expectations of an activity may be too high. Can you enjoy the simple things in life? Being passionate about something comes more from HOW you do things rather than WHAT you are actually doing. Or perhaps your passion is exploration and you are someone who will always try new things. What's wrong with that?

Your life purpose is not determined by the person who signs your paycheck. Your purpose in life is to learn lessons about yourself and your life - smell, taste, touch, see, feel and experience. If you are looking for life's purpose in a career, what do you think life is really about? If it was supposed to be about work, why are we born with the ability to fall in love, laugh, dance, travel, have families, connect with friends, celebrate holidays and birthdays?

Stop looking for your life's purpose in what you do. You absolutely have a purpose in life - and that is to live it! -Christine

 

Putting together my family tree

I have for a couple of year now been rather curious about my family. Where my family comes from, what kind of history is there. Maybe I have a duke in there somewhere, related to some famous person, maybe not so famous but a smart. So regardless I have curiosity about my background, where ever it leads. I’d like to know.  

 

Ever have on of those damn conversations where your talking a lot of smack and unwisely you keep carrying on and you know you should stop, then the person you are talking to decides to call you out. Then you might or might not stutter, looking for a response. I shouldn’t have stuttered, I feel that my mind was so far into the gutter, that, that… a hell I froze up. Damn, now I think back on it, it’s been keeping me up, I should’ve just said it, what harm would it have caused. Anyhow, what’s done is done, I just should’ve had the balls to say it.

 

Till next time

Talked it over

Seattle and I talked a few days ago and we had gotten some things straightened out. I expressed my feeling and she as well. I am very with the outcome. In the end I was convinced that this is something that I want to flesh out and see what the end is like, whether for good or bad.

 

Last week I went to gold’s gym in downtown and inquired about a membership. I have to say I am excited with what I was told. Really I’m excited to have access to all the equipment and other privileges that come with a membership. I have a goal of 180 lbs. and I am roughly ten away from it. However, it is going to be a hard ten. I have a book to help me along, to understand how to eat properly for a running, training regimen. I know it sounds and looks silly that I am reading a book that is called “the runner’s diet” however; this is something that I am serious about. Since I cannot afford a nutritionist to help me out, why not get a generic one and use my intelligence to work out a diet for myself. I say this only cause I have gotten quite a few sarcastic comments and some eye rolling because of this.

 

That’s all for today more coming later this week

Passion

I’m inspired to write tonight by this question and answer. This was a piece of wisdom actually common sense. It is very important to find what it is that motivates you. That drives you to do what it is that you do. If your not thrilled about going to work and don’t always wake up with a pep in your step. You cannot forget that it is just a job. It doesn’t mean that you have lost your passion. Now passion is not what you do, but how you do it, and maybe a why.

 

What is my passion, well my passion has evolved over the years, it is to live life and that means to experience things and to challenge myself with while I am experiencing these things. For instance I am going to run this marathon and with this challenge I have set about living a healthy lifestyle. I think I’m going to finally be able to lose my gut, and at least get the body that I want once in my life. How long I keep, now that is a different story. I have a passion for music, and culture. I love culture. I think ignorance would be greatly reduced if people exposed themselves to a little bit of culture. Travel is the best way to experience this. However there is a lot to do in a city that you live in. it is a community after all. Take advantage of it. It would be very selfish and stupid to believe that there is no one else out there that doesn’t have the same interest as you. I am currently learning this and experimenting. Until next time…

Wants and haves

Another one of those wonderful restless nights, it’s almost one in the morning, and I can’t sleep. I was really tired earlier too. I just ‘pushed’ myself to watch a bit of a movie then I just got carried away, and ended up watching more than I intended to. Monty Python and the Holy Grail, an absolute riot! Yea I know I could call Seattle. however, I never been one to lay myself out like that. It’s also nice to have the benefit of thinking about it and the ever useful ‘backspace’ key, after you realize that it sounded better in your head than it did out in the open, especially when the thoughts haven’t been exactly fleshed out. So to begin, the reason that I am restless tonight is this thing Seattle and I have. Well, what is it exactly. I find myself asking that question, I have enjoy a feeling of affection and infatuation, to name just the ones that pop in my head. However what is it that this is, why is it what it is? Is it a relationship that is kept simmering indefinitely? Is it a failed relationship, in that it had the potential to be so much more however lacked the necessary ingredients at the time to grow? Which I know the answer to be. However having the room that it has now, does it become better? Are one of the parties or both latching onto something ideal, since we have both been jaded by what is generally available? I know there are a lot of questions in this; however these are just a few of the things that have been crossing my mind as of late. Perhaps I am disillusioning myself into the thoughts of what I want this to be, maybe she would be perfect, however there is no way to test that or know for sure given the circumstances at the present. It’s longing for something that… What is it?

 

I have a friend at the least. And something else that would’ve been fleshed out had I stayed in Seattle, for better or worse. Being 2500 miles away really does make it suck! The advent of technology has helped us to stay in contact in ways I would’ve never really executed or thought of before, albeit it is still a device and not a warm body. I another reason that I bring this up is because, I was out at a festival this weekend when I met someone. It’s really not anything; however this is a big reason for my restlessness and the aforementioned questions. In some strange way I felt a little guilty or conflicted, now that I see it in writing, it seems a little irrational and silly(not silly, it’s used for a lack of a better word) thoughts grandeur that I want to think. I want a consenting more than friends personal relationship between adults, while not facing what it really is, which is a ‘pen pal’ that I really want to be with intimately and to get to know better, however due to circumstances it is not possible.

 

Dang my head hurts from this. Either way, sleep is coming…