Thursday, August 20, 2009

Cleaning out my box

I had a box, it was my procrastination box. This is the place that I placed all of the items that I didn’t want to deal with at any given time. In the last week I bought myself a shredder. Most of the items in this box have just met the shredder. Over the last two days I have been using the shredder to empty out the items that I find unimportant. I had things in there from over ten years ago! It felt really good to do this. It was like a spring cleaning of sorts. It was truly a way to get rid of some of the overhanging baggage that I was carrying around with me. From location to location. It was also a way to prioritize a lot of delinquent issues that I have let pile up over the years. My list if pretty fucking big, let me tell ya. There were some pretty painful things in there, that I had been holding onto for a long time now.

Edesapa had sent me the file on me a couple of weeks ago and I was looking at it and saw the pain that I had caused him over the years. It’s really sobering in a way.  But I’ve already  covered this in past posts.

I have really let my hole get kinda big. I have stopped digging it deeper, I have been assessing just how deep it has gotten. Now, I have to start climbing out of it.

Things are starting to look a little brighter for me these days. It feels good to be able to get my life in order, slowly but surely. In one word, to describe how I feel today, it is patience.

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