Man, it’s 1:20 in the morning, and I have to be up at 5. I just can’t sleep. My mind is just being absolutely restless. All kinds of things swirling around inside there. I have thoughts as to if I have been a big asshole to my sister. Not enough income, I’m probably going to have to get a second job. Especially with the holidays coming up here, I should be able to find something part time. I just need to find out what my court obligations will be like. Really most of it is financial, I really do regret greatly what I gave up. It was such a promising opportunity. Now, I feel so lost, and helpless. I would’ve been making well in the sixty range. That would’ve been enough to pay all my debts up and brought me completely current. All within twenty-four months. Now I have to reevaluate my position and really, put my ass in gear. I have student loans. Fuck! Such a big pile. This week I’m going to look at exactly what kind of damage I have done and at least to see what it will take for me to get out of it. We’ll see, this is my chance to start over. I have little else going for me at the moment. For better or worse, I got to make the best of this situation; my future just looks really murky. That really is a disconcerting feeling. It’s going to get harder before it gets easier. I know this. It would just be nice for it to be over with already, and to that next point. Praying seems to help a bit. Still trying to get a grasp on this idea. It’s probably going to be another couple of years before I get the ball rolling for myself in a decent direction. I’m going to run the
I’m not going to lie, I really need to just whine a good bit. This really is a poor me moment, that’s all this is. This is nothing to really be worried about, however, I just need to get a grip. That’s all this is. Anyhow, it’s weird to have two serious entries in one day. If I can’t go to sleep maybe I’ll post again. The time is now 1:52
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