Unpacked and moved in

The place that I am renting is a two bedroom/two bath. The way it works is that you only lease the room. The apartment office tries to match you with a roommate. I’m getting a roommate soon. The maintenance guy came by today and was doing some work on the other room. I can’t say that I’m thrilled about this idea. This is however a much healthier situation than my previous one. I enjoyed living on my own. I’ve gotten my boxes unpacked today. Which is a relief because it was a sizeable stack, my apartment is starting to feel like home. It’s something I haven’t felt for almost six months now.

Picked up my running again, I had stopped since I moved from Seattle. However doing it here in Austin has been a pretty good challenge. It’s hot! I do love to run in the rain though, it reminds me of Seattle. I’ve decided to tackle the AT&T Austin Marathon that’s going on next year. Its four days after my birthday. 2-17-2008 I need to be able to commit to a goal. This goal has been influenced by my sister. I see here doing her races and it inspires me to get in shape and to do it myself. It will be a challenge.

Something I’ve committed myself to is keeping a journal. It is an awesome way for me to express my frustrations. It’s a way to keep myself honest and hold myself accountable. This is something that I have been sorely lacking for the last couple of years. Honesty; It’s pretty sad. It is something that I now recognize and am going to remedy. One of the causes of this has been that I’ve been spiritually bankrupt for quite sometime now. What I mean by this is there is this hole inside of me that I’ve been trying to subdue with the wrong things. I didn’t even know what it was. Since I couldn’t fill it and didn’t know why, I become bitter and extremely selfish as a result. My view on life has become skewed. For many years now I’ve tried to quell this by taking substances to numb it, which is extremely self destructive. This kind of thinking, and action that comes with it, come to find out is symptomatic of an alcoholic. This is probably the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to admit to myself and to tell/explain to my family. That I am an alcoholic.